Garrett loved that house and loved that it was ours. We decided we would try to stay there, despite the circumstances. I went to work with wrinkled shirts, no make up and wet hair because these burglars decided they would take every last bit of what we had. My mom flew in to stay with me and help us sort everything out. After two nights of no sleep and jumping at every car that drove by - I just knew those people were going to come back for the larger pieces of furniture they couldn't bring with them.I tried to tell Garrett I would be fine living there, but my mom told him otherwise. He decided we were moving April 29th. We packed up the moving truck and moved to Franklin, TN 30 miles south of Nashville. The rain was terrible, it seemed to never let up. We got settled in our new home and got a call from our neighbor who said we were lucky because the creek in the back yard was rising pretty quickly. A couple days later every home on that creek was flooded with 6 feet of water.
Wait. What? Our home, our perfect home, was destroyed by this massive flood?? We immediately learned our lesson. If not for the break in, we would have lost everything the burglars stole, plus more because no one had flood insurance. What an unbelievable turn around. We went from feeling defeated and angry to so, so thankful for a silly break in to have taken place. You see, there are things that happen that we can't always make sense of. Things happen and there seems to be no reason. We want to call the shots sometimes, and it's not our place to do so. Trust in His plan. Believe that everything that happens is for His good. Have faith in Him!
Its easy to say these types of things or quote verses when the walk your walking seems just a little difficult, but to means means very difficult. But what happens when a major, life changing event happens? Do you keep your composure then? On July 21st, 2012, I began watching a husband and family deal with the loss of their wife, daughter, sister, cousin, granddaughter, etc. The walk they walked was probably the toughest they could imagine. And they did nothing, but praise God. Lean on Him, Fall on Him during these times and showed nothing but faith that he would catch them as they fell, as they collapsed into His arms. He would carry them when they felt as if they couldn't go any further. Watching them changed my life. I began to wonder how they were doing all of this. And their actions showed it all - they were doing it by simply by the power, the grace, the mercy of our great savior.
This came into play during August 2013 when I was diagnosed with Hodgkin's Lymphoma. A diagnosis like this can bring you to your knees or bring your hands higher. We refused to let it bring us down. I made up my mind that I will continue to praise Him during this storm. When I start to question, I will pray. When I start to doubt, I will pray. When I get anxious and scared, I will pray. And it works. Things were looking up. We had a plan and we were going to start beating this thing. This is God's plan and I'm ok with that. I was baptized a week after the diagnosis and was overwhelmed by the amount of support we received. God was going to use me during this illness for His good. And that is good with me. I must tell you, though, that if this were to happen a year ago, my reaction would have been much, much different. I would have been the one to fall, not believing anyone was going to catch me. My heart changed over the past year as I began to pray that I would become closer to Him, as I spent more time in His word and as I started to put the things I've learned into practice.
After a month of tests, scans, and my first chemo treatment things seemed to be getting easier. Thanks to all the prayers and the grace of God I didn't have any side effects from the chemo other than tiredness, and I can deal with mid day naps! Our parade came to a halt. On Monday, Sept. 23rd, Garrett's dad, his best friend, passed away suddenly. Our hearts broke; they ached. Once again, we were put in a situation that makes no sense. That we can't possibly see any good in. We can fall flat on our faces and question things or we can put our faith in Him and ask that he carries us through these times. It is not for us to question, for us to answer or to begin to figure it out. It is His plan. And our job is to trust in Him. I have learned through this, that a sickness I cursed and didn't want has provided me with more time to spend with those I love. More time to dig into His word. And more time to learn to pray - like really pray.
This past week I have been honored to walk a walk none of wanted to go through or even wanted to think about going to - and every member of this family continue to walk with our heads lifted by God with the knowledge and the faith that God will carry us through this time and that we know that Clyde is enjoying every second in Heaven.
We are left with the decision - will we trust in Him and allow this life changing event draw us closer to Him or will we fail to trust in Him and lean on his promises. I can tell you that I am so happy with the choice I have made for I cannot begin to imagine how to deal with these events that have to be if it were not for the promises of God.
Proverbs 3:5-6
5 Trust in the Lord with all your heart
and lean not on your own understanding;
6 in all your ways submit to him,
and he will make your paths straight.[a]
Deuteronomy 32:8
Do not be afraid or discouraged, for the Lord is the one who goes before you. He will be with you, he will neither fail nor forsake you."
Clyde and Joanie came to our house on August 26th and as they prayed for comfort, peace and for us to get some sleep as we awaited results, they comforted me with the words "God knew about this before you did. He was in the room before you were when you got those results and he will be there tomorrow as you go back." This is the truth. Know that He goes before you and know that He is there. Our God is sovereign and He is good. Put your trust in Him and follow His ways. You will be comforted in times of need and given peace in in times of distress. His timeline isn't always what we would want and never what we would prefer, but it is His time.
Jeremiah 29:11 is says ... 'For I know the plans I have for you, declares the LORD, plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.'
Have faith in Him and his work.