It's been a year. An entire year. The longest, yet shortest and most life changing year of my existence so far. I've spent the past couple of weeks reflecting on this past year. Every day that passes is connected with an emotion. An emotion that floods my mind as the day comes and goes and then the next day holds its own emotion. I can still feel the emotions as the different dates pass. My first hair cut. My first scan. The day I was diagnosed. My first surgery. All of the different appointments. The phone call I made to my parents. The day I started treatment. So many dates. So many emotions. I would have imagined each of these dates would be tied to a negative emotion. Fear. Anxiety. Helplessness. Sadness. What I learned is that I was being called for something much bigger than myself. Much bigger than I could have ever imagined. The emotions turned positive. I was relieved. I was hopeful. I was determined. I didn't know what lied ahead of me - and I wasn't concerned.
There are "landmarks" - physical landmarks. chronological landmarks. personal landmarks - that pass everyday that to some people mean nothing and to me mark a milestone in my life. Dates and landmarks that are tied to days that my life changed forever. Days that I realized there was a much bigger plan in place. Days I realized I was not in control. And days that I realized that the only thing I could do is to fall on Him and He will carry me through.